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– Abigail Spencer; Actress, Writer and Producer
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There’s no denying that divorce sucks.
You’ve given your all to your relationship, building a life, a family, and possibly a business with your partner. So naturally, it feels wholly overwhelming and emotionally exhausting when you wake up (or they wake up) one day and realize that where it once took two to say, “I do,” it now only takes one of you to say, “I don’t”. But the dissolution of your marriage doesn’t have to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.
Marriage-loving divorce attorney, Nicole Sodoma, knows exactly what you’re going through, not just because she represents people in the same position, but because she has been there herself. When she separated from her husband of thirteen years, everyone she knew offered their sympathies. She quickly began to question why people say “congratulations” when we marry and “I’m sorry” when we divorce. After all, sorry is a word used to express empathy for someone’s misfortune; it hardly seemed fitting for a circumstance where one is choosing to do what is in the best interest of their happiness (and very likely that of their partner and children too).
In Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry, Sodoma shares empowering advice to help you sustain a real and happy marriage, recognize when that’s just not possible, and know what to expect and do from there. What’s more, she offers all of this with a generous dose of humor to remind you that you can and will laugh again.
Equally hopeful and insightful, this book draws from Sodoma’s personal experience growing up in a blended family with divorced parents, her own marital breakup. and the more than two decades she has spent leading others through the separation process as a family law attorney. From hard truths about court proceedings, seeking sole custody, and the unintended consequences of any split, to deeply relatable tales from divorce cases past, her empathy and real talk make it easy to feel understood and far less alone in those moments when you are making seemingly impossible decisions.
Whether you are looking for advice on how to better your marriage, are considering separation, or you find yourself knee-deep in divorce, this book has something for you. Today is the first day of the rest of your life and things are looking up, because now you’ve got a badass, no-holds-barred, divorce attorney by your side.
“In Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry, Nicole Sodoma shows us that marital struggles, separation and divorce do not need to be taboo. Quite the opposite in fact. Sodoma exhibits the experience, humanity and legal insights that show us how the most tumultuous times can empower great personal choice. Realistic and raw, funny and frank, this book is must-read for anyone trying to find a way to stay in or move past their marriage.”
“A thoughtful guide to getting through divorce with the least amount of stress and emotional pain.”
“Nicole offers a refreshing mix of hope, straight talk, and battle-tested experience. Her compassion for the reader comes through with heart and valuable insights.”
“I wish I had had this Nicole Sodoma uniquely candid relationship and divorce companion all those years ago. It would have made the journey a lot less lonely. She’s lived divorce in her own story and she’s been a divorce doula for so many. I never wanted to end up in court. I tried everything else, court was my last resort. I wish when my friend had advised me to go talk to an attorney she also was able to slip me this book. It’s about time we pull back the dark, velvet curtain that is the delicacy of divorce. With Nicole’s over 20 years of experience and personal experience, how could you not want to get a glass of wine with this gal and simply have her walk alongside you as you divorce journey. Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry is a conversational companion, full of heart and empathy plus facts from an expert to help you feel a little less alone in this abyss. Page after page you feel that she is able to meet you where you are at and helps reframe the relationship to yourself as you un-relationship to another. I’m hopeful it’s just the beginning of many more conversations around this from a sisterhood perspective. Nicole has a profound way to make you feel a little more okay and it’s going to be okay and ultimately empower you into creating more choice and the possibility of expansion in seeming contraction. I’m definitely NOT sorry I read this book. And you won’t be either.”
